I write essays, short stories, screenplays, audio plays, and comedy. The writing is usually about how I am doing things right and everyone else is doing them wrong, or else about elevators or serotonin. Sometimes they're published in places like Paste Magazine, ClickHole, and McSweeney's.

Sometimes I like to read stories & essays aloud, so here are some of those, if that's what you're into.

Essays & Fiction